Two Fat Ladies, Vol. 3 (Lunch, Cocktail Party, Afternoon Tea) and Vol. 4 (Picnic, Breakfast, Dinner) Vegetarians and the faint of heart, beware! But for everyone else, the Two Fat Ladies are back, and they are simply spectacular. In volumes 3 and 4 of their British television series (each tape contains three episodes), Jennifer Paterson and Clarissa Dickson Wright cook for a lunch, a cocktail party, an afternoon tea, a picnic, a breakfast, and a dinner. The two women travel (by motorcycle and sidecar) to a different location in each episode to cook a requested meal–usually laden with cream, butter, and meats (Jennifer notes of one tartine: “Delicious, despite its vegetarian overtones”). Yes, this is a cooking show, but with Jennifer and Clarissa’s patter, it has the feel of a comedy. As they whip up Loin of Pork Stuffed with Mushrooms and a pot of Clam Chowder, the Two Fat Ladies sing the praises of bacon (Clarissa hints at a risqu past when she notes that bacon is a great hangover cure; not that she gets hangovers anymore. Other allusions to falling off barstools and beer for breakfast are dotted throughout). The meals look sumptuous–salmon soaked in wine and topped with orange rings, Brazilian bean fritters, fruit tartlets, vichyssoise, and so much more–and it’s terrific fun following the women as they go sightseeing (a motorcycle rally, watching a male choir, on a quest for the perfect drink at the Brazilian embassy, at a brewery, picking strawberries). Jennifer is likely to break out in song or rhyme, and Clarissa tells interesting facts and gossip from her life. They chitchat about tips for picking up men, the fact that nutmeg is a hallucinogenic, the beauty of British military boys, how you can’t get crackling in Scotland or France. So, be prepared to learn how to core a kidney (and who knew kidneys needed coring?), make cracker crumbs, and laugh along at the antics of these two rather large women. The Two Fat Ladies are destined to become a cooking classic. –Jenny Brown

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